By Brian Smith
Special to GUIDON

When does “absence makes the heart grow fonder” turn into “out of sight, out of mind?”

The first deployment, or the fifth, can put strain and stress on a couple. Relationships can withstand many things, but lengthy separations of time and distance aren’t always the calmest waters.

When a deployment or an extended separation comes up, you make plans to cover the basics. You take on extra responsibilities. You adjust your schedule, the children’s schedules, set budgets and make vacation or holiday plans.

The skills and tools you need to keep the household afloat might be different than when you had a full crew.

Ongoing adjustments can strain even the most resilient person. A family experiencing the physical and emotional drain of navigating with a deployed spouse can start to feel adrift.

With each new turn along the deployment cycle, it will take time for everyone in the family to regain their sea legs. Be prepared for short bursts of depression, anxiety, stress and anger. These are all common, normal reactions to stressful situations.

When your day-to-day life and relationships are affected by these sinking feelings, there is support.  Help weathering the storm

Trained chaplains, doctors and counselors are available for many types of help and support. Some services are available at your local military facility. Through TRICARE, you can visit a local, civilian behavioral health provider. Find a provider at www.triwest.com.

It’s easy to use your benefits — family members are eligible to self-refer for the first eight individual counseling visits each year (Oct. 1-Sept. 30).

Active-duty service members and eligible family members can even access counselors online, 24/7.

TriWest Online Care offers short-term, non-medical counseling over the phone and through a chat feature at www.triwest.com/onlinecare. Eligibility requirements for this service are on the Web site.  

Over the Internet, you can also videoconference using Skype™ with a counselor, too.Chart a course

When you find yourself in a place you’ve never been before, and you can’t get your bearings, it might be helpful to talk to someone who’s been there before.

Other spouses and family members may be able to help you ride the ups and downs during a deployment.

TriWest can always help you find more options for help and support, too, over the phone at 888.874.9378  and online at www.triwest.com/ onlinecare.

Families like these also share their experiences in the Help From Home video series, a post-deployment resource available as streaming video at www. triwest. com/helpfromhome   or available to order as a free 2-DVD set throughout TRICARE’s 21-state west region.

Whether you’re counting down to a deployment or a homecoming, resources are available to help you with your new normal and set your relationship back on the right course.

(Editor’s note: Smith writes for TriWest Healthcare Alliance.)